Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
