careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
