Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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