I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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