He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
