This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
