I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
false alarm, still single
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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