She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
