Do vagina's smell?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
