Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
