Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The best revenge is premature balding
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Randomize
