My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
ok first of all what the fuck
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
