Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Be still, my beating vagina.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
