mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
