We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
