people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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