she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
