He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
