So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
