I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
