he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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