"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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