and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
