The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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