I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize