she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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