You work out of a Hotel?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
