the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
