Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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