Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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