You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
