Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
