Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize