You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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