its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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