woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
