does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
