He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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