and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
