Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize