it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
