Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
