so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
