Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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