You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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