It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
