I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Alive.
So much puke
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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