my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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