they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
