dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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