Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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