Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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