you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
