Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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