Christians are straight up FREAKS
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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