at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
