Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
