I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
