just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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