I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
