Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
